What if, if this year, the Grinch tried to steal our Christmas – if he stole the feast, and the lights, and the tree, and – worst of all – the presents, all those gifts!, If by chance it were the Grinch rather than Santa Clause who visited our houses this December, would we, all the Whos down in Whoville, believe that the Grinch had stopped Christmas from coming? Or would we gather together in joyous worship of the Gift that has come down to us? I’m nervous about what our answer to that might be.
Dr. Seuss, wrote that Christmas is about so much more than gifts and lights, and everyone who reads about the Grinch wants to believe that. What is it? What is it that makes those Whos down in Whoville every bit as happy with Christmas without the gifts as they were with the gifts? What’s the secret? What do they know that we don’t?
We have a lot of work to do. May Christ help us to prepare for His coming.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
...nnn... I don' wanna go to school...
My pastors recently told me about how there have been many Sundays where they wanted desperately to just skip church - you know, just "miss" a turn and keep going on down the highway. Apparently this horrifies parishioners, who seem to consider such sentiment absolute heresy. I found it understandable though.
This is just one of those weeks when that feeling is catching up with me. Nothing in particular and everything in general is just weighing on my mind. It's odd going through the motions, treating some aspects of this internship like any old job - something that has to be done before the end of the day. Like homework almost. Maybe more than almost.
Every job is probably like this sooner or later. Some day when you don't want to go into work just because. Why should pastoring be any different - jobs may differ, but the real issue is that it is a person who carries it out. Even pastors wear down - and chances are they wear down more often than people think.
It's rather convenient to assume that there are some people out there - mystical giants like Monks, Nuns, Priests, and Grandmothers - people who will always be strong, always be great, always spiritual. Why do we want to believe this fantasy? We always tell such stories for a reason of some kind, so why this one? We watch movies about heroes because we want to believe that there are causes worth fighting for. We read romance novels because we want to believe that our own love life can one day be like that one, either for the first time or once again.
And so, I guess, we want to believe that pastors are always spiritual for one of two reasons. In the first case, it is because then we can feel okay about not being spiritual ourselves - that's their job, so I don't need to worry about it. In the second case, it is because we want to be spiritual like that, and we haven't made it yet. The first an excuse, the second a dream. Most people live between the two I'm guessing. Enough dream to feel good about ourselves, enough excuse to get out of the hard work the dream requires.
All of this in the service of avoiding the weight of responsibility we have as full participant in the priesthood of all believers. And don't think this doesn't critique me, just because I am a pastor.
So, now it's off to text study, then to sermon prep, reading, talking with peers. Maybe getting away from the computer will do me good - conversation and the mutual caring and consolation of the people of God tends to do that. Thanks be to God.
This is just one of those weeks when that feeling is catching up with me. Nothing in particular and everything in general is just weighing on my mind. It's odd going through the motions, treating some aspects of this internship like any old job - something that has to be done before the end of the day. Like homework almost. Maybe more than almost.
Every job is probably like this sooner or later. Some day when you don't want to go into work just because. Why should pastoring be any different - jobs may differ, but the real issue is that it is a person who carries it out. Even pastors wear down - and chances are they wear down more often than people think.
It's rather convenient to assume that there are some people out there - mystical giants like Monks, Nuns, Priests, and Grandmothers - people who will always be strong, always be great, always spiritual. Why do we want to believe this fantasy? We always tell such stories for a reason of some kind, so why this one? We watch movies about heroes because we want to believe that there are causes worth fighting for. We read romance novels because we want to believe that our own love life can one day be like that one, either for the first time or once again.
And so, I guess, we want to believe that pastors are always spiritual for one of two reasons. In the first case, it is because then we can feel okay about not being spiritual ourselves - that's their job, so I don't need to worry about it. In the second case, it is because we want to be spiritual like that, and we haven't made it yet. The first an excuse, the second a dream. Most people live between the two I'm guessing. Enough dream to feel good about ourselves, enough excuse to get out of the hard work the dream requires.
All of this in the service of avoiding the weight of responsibility we have as full participant in the priesthood of all believers. And don't think this doesn't critique me, just because I am a pastor.
So, now it's off to text study, then to sermon prep, reading, talking with peers. Maybe getting away from the computer will do me good - conversation and the mutual caring and consolation of the people of God tends to do that. Thanks be to God.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Almost 3 Months In
Well, I'm nearly 3 months into my internship. I'm feeling the burn now - probably because I get so frustrated with sermon and confirmation help material that it ends up being easier to design lessons on my own. I'm sure that I'm not doing as good a job as other folks would do, but I do enjoy getting my hands dirty while preparing material. I'm pretty sure that this is also helping me work through my seminary education now before I forget some of its finer points. Still, all that time spent trying to prepare for lessons, studies, or sermons can be draining.
I'm learning a lot, though concrete applications for this knowledge seems a bit absent at present. Getting used to being out of the rhythms of the academy has been disconcerting, but knowing that I'm actually being employed full time has its own way of keeping me going.
Time spent with seminary friends of late has been nice. Last week, I saw some friends at Luther on my way to a conference at which I saw Steve Paulson. The previous two weeks I got to see the interns around me and catch up with them - It's fun since several of us went to the same college.
Now, however, I'm looking forward to weeks without long distances to travel to conferences or cluster meetings and actually having five days to get work done.
I'm learning a lot, though concrete applications for this knowledge seems a bit absent at present. Getting used to being out of the rhythms of the academy has been disconcerting, but knowing that I'm actually being employed full time has its own way of keeping me going.
Time spent with seminary friends of late has been nice. Last week, I saw some friends at Luther on my way to a conference at which I saw Steve Paulson. The previous two weeks I got to see the interns around me and catch up with them - It's fun since several of us went to the same college.
Now, however, I'm looking forward to weeks without long distances to travel to conferences or cluster meetings and actually having five days to get work done.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Of Ways Divine and Human
"My ways are not your ways, and my thoughts are not your thoughts"
Isaiah 55:8
In all things human, the temptation when faced by words of challenge from God is to point God's finger at the other. The Democrat rails against the Republican; the Theocrat against the Secularist: 'God's ways aren't your ways! You're ways are wrong!'
This is not new; it is as old as Genesis 3 and Adam blaming Eve blaming the snake. We all have a deeply held desire to be right. The religious among us, especially pastors, have strong opinions about God, Jesus, and the Bible. Who can blame them? If God is God, then who would not want to speak rightly of Him? What would the consequences be of saying false things of Him?
The Liberal tradition of Christian theology deserves much respect. It was this branch of Christian thinking that resulted in women's ordination, the abolition of slavery, renewed care for social justice, and so forth.
However, I have noticed a basic presumption among peers who espouse it, in which they radically reinterpret Scripture if they consider it to be offensive to them. Stories of God's wrath, judgment, violence, plagues, and rejection of people are recieved at best with uncomfortable squirming - a fine reaction to such stories I'll admit. However, there is a propensity to alter the clear content of texts to suit their preconceived notions about God - though this too is an old Christian pattern, dating back to Marcion of the 2nd Century.
I challenge all to take Scripture seriously. Let it speak for itself. Hear it in its entirety. Don't reinterpret texts that don't suit you - are you God? Do you know the mind of God? Are you so wise as to rewrite, redact, or edit the Bible yourself? No.
If God's ways are truly different from our ways, then God must be different from the vegan, the pacifist, and the liberal just as much as from the NRA, the war hawk, and the conservative. Scripture challenges all of these people and views alike and gives none a stamp of approval. And if you haven't encountered a concept in the Bible which deeply challenges your convictions about God or the world in the past month, then you haven't been reading it broadly or closely enough. God challenges everyone through this book of books - let Him challenge you with it too. You only cheat yourself if you reinterpret it to suit your comfort.
And so, as I complain about the failures I see in my theological enemies, I must also confess that God's ways are not my ways either. That my desire to see God spoken of rightly fails ultimately. That I too have blasphemed the Lord I love so imperfectly.
Isaiah 55:8
In all things human, the temptation when faced by words of challenge from God is to point God's finger at the other. The Democrat rails against the Republican; the Theocrat against the Secularist: 'God's ways aren't your ways! You're ways are wrong!'
This is not new; it is as old as Genesis 3 and Adam blaming Eve blaming the snake. We all have a deeply held desire to be right. The religious among us, especially pastors, have strong opinions about God, Jesus, and the Bible. Who can blame them? If God is God, then who would not want to speak rightly of Him? What would the consequences be of saying false things of Him?
The Liberal tradition of Christian theology deserves much respect. It was this branch of Christian thinking that resulted in women's ordination, the abolition of slavery, renewed care for social justice, and so forth.
However, I have noticed a basic presumption among peers who espouse it, in which they radically reinterpret Scripture if they consider it to be offensive to them. Stories of God's wrath, judgment, violence, plagues, and rejection of people are recieved at best with uncomfortable squirming - a fine reaction to such stories I'll admit. However, there is a propensity to alter the clear content of texts to suit their preconceived notions about God - though this too is an old Christian pattern, dating back to Marcion of the 2nd Century.
I challenge all to take Scripture seriously. Let it speak for itself. Hear it in its entirety. Don't reinterpret texts that don't suit you - are you God? Do you know the mind of God? Are you so wise as to rewrite, redact, or edit the Bible yourself? No.
If God's ways are truly different from our ways, then God must be different from the vegan, the pacifist, and the liberal just as much as from the NRA, the war hawk, and the conservative. Scripture challenges all of these people and views alike and gives none a stamp of approval. And if you haven't encountered a concept in the Bible which deeply challenges your convictions about God or the world in the past month, then you haven't been reading it broadly or closely enough. God challenges everyone through this book of books - let Him challenge you with it too. You only cheat yourself if you reinterpret it to suit your comfort.
And so, as I complain about the failures I see in my theological enemies, I must also confess that God's ways are not my ways either. That my desire to see God spoken of rightly fails ultimately. That I too have blasphemed the Lord I love so imperfectly.
And so, at the end of words and striving, I cry:
"Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us all;
You are our only hope."
"Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us all;
You are our only hope."
Monday, October 6, 2008
The blood of whom?
Oh, it was a day that memories are made of...
The pastor of this particular internship church wasn't going to be there on Sunday, so he found a substitute pastor to do the liturgy while I preached. That substitute himself had a family emergency at the last minute, so he told me to just take care of preaching and liturgy both. I stumbled through the liturgy since it was my first time at this church with it's own traditions, but it was okay.
Then, as I walked back to the altar, going around the communion rail, I ran into a piece of church architecture, beautiful old hardwood, that came to a solid point an inch above my temple. Smack. Not one of those ones where it was a dull thud that you shake off. It felt like a classic 'sickening smack' where I could tell that the skin had been pierced. I managed not to curse in front of the church as they sang 'Let the vineyards be fruitful..." - good thing I think. I tried checking my face, but found no blood, so I thought the leaking feeling I was perceiving was mistaken.
I distributed communion uneventfully enough. Then, someone brought me a tissue after communion. Apparently, I had been bleeding all through communion, with blood seeping down through my hair, right over my right temple.
I can only imagine what people were thinking as they received the body and blood of Christ. Talk about an object lesson.
The rest of yesterday was marked by me feeling, thinking, and driving as though I had been mildly concussed. I went to the hospital to be safe, but with no memory loss or apparent brain damage, all they decided to do was to staple shut the lacerations I got from the collision. It looked pretty neat actually. It looked like three red lines radiating out from the center point - like I had run into the point of a square.
However, I survived.
What a Sunday...
The pastor of this particular internship church wasn't going to be there on Sunday, so he found a substitute pastor to do the liturgy while I preached. That substitute himself had a family emergency at the last minute, so he told me to just take care of preaching and liturgy both. I stumbled through the liturgy since it was my first time at this church with it's own traditions, but it was okay.
Then, as I walked back to the altar, going around the communion rail, I ran into a piece of church architecture, beautiful old hardwood, that came to a solid point an inch above my temple. Smack. Not one of those ones where it was a dull thud that you shake off. It felt like a classic 'sickening smack' where I could tell that the skin had been pierced. I managed not to curse in front of the church as they sang 'Let the vineyards be fruitful..." - good thing I think. I tried checking my face, but found no blood, so I thought the leaking feeling I was perceiving was mistaken.
I distributed communion uneventfully enough. Then, someone brought me a tissue after communion. Apparently, I had been bleeding all through communion, with blood seeping down through my hair, right over my right temple.
I can only imagine what people were thinking as they received the body and blood of Christ. Talk about an object lesson.
The rest of yesterday was marked by me feeling, thinking, and driving as though I had been mildly concussed. I went to the hospital to be safe, but with no memory loss or apparent brain damage, all they decided to do was to staple shut the lacerations I got from the collision. It looked pretty neat actually. It looked like three red lines radiating out from the center point - like I had run into the point of a square.
However, I survived.
What a Sunday...
Monday, September 22, 2008
Settling In
I'm getting used to this blogging business I guess, hence the long delay in posting. It's been a good few weeks though - busy but good. I've now been asked by parishioners at two of my churches (with utter seriousness) whether they were hearing a bit of an English accent in me when I presided or preached at the service. Ha! I can only assume that is coming from my choral training in High School and College - they teach you techniques and diction that helps you project and be understood better. I have noted, though, that the distinction between English and American accents burrs for me when listening to different music groups, so maybe there's something in that. Neat thought anyways.
I'm still filling out my weekly schedule. I'm working about 40 hours a week even though I'm told I should be leveling off at 50-60 hours per week. Well, I'm certainly not going to complain in the meantime - 40 hours isn't nothing. However, I've got a few weekly events coming online in the near future that I'm going to be overseeing.
I am having an interesting time getting used to preaching on a regular basis. It is revealing to me how easy it is for me to slip into preaching the same sermon over and over, simply using the text of the day to put it into a new costume. I'm finding it is taking more creativity than I had anticipated to articulate the Gospel in completely new ways each sermon. This'll probably be a growing edge for me for some time.
I was quite embarrassed to find out that my supervisor has already picked up on my forgetful and tardy streak. It comes from being a bit ADD I guess, and I really don't like it. I have my good weeks, of course, but then comes the bad weeks when I really let my guard down and get absorbed in projects. Ah well, at the least I can say that I gave them fair warning.
I miss my college days, and seminary as well. It's so much more fun doing all this thinking stuff when you have no responsibility except to your own GPA. As it is, I'm now responsible for what a great many people hear about God in any given week. That I find this intimidating is probably a good sign, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant.
I'm still filling out my weekly schedule. I'm working about 40 hours a week even though I'm told I should be leveling off at 50-60 hours per week. Well, I'm certainly not going to complain in the meantime - 40 hours isn't nothing. However, I've got a few weekly events coming online in the near future that I'm going to be overseeing.
I am having an interesting time getting used to preaching on a regular basis. It is revealing to me how easy it is for me to slip into preaching the same sermon over and over, simply using the text of the day to put it into a new costume. I'm finding it is taking more creativity than I had anticipated to articulate the Gospel in completely new ways each sermon. This'll probably be a growing edge for me for some time.
I was quite embarrassed to find out that my supervisor has already picked up on my forgetful and tardy streak. It comes from being a bit ADD I guess, and I really don't like it. I have my good weeks, of course, but then comes the bad weeks when I really let my guard down and get absorbed in projects. Ah well, at the least I can say that I gave them fair warning.
I miss my college days, and seminary as well. It's so much more fun doing all this thinking stuff when you have no responsibility except to your own GPA. As it is, I'm now responsible for what a great many people hear about God in any given week. That I find this intimidating is probably a good sign, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Brief Post
A good friend of mine lost his brother in the last few days to tragedy.
Please keep him and his family in your prayers.
Please keep him and his family in your prayers.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Beginning of Internship
Eight churches, six pastors, sermons every other Sunday, presiding whenever I'm not preaching, and getting to each of these churches every five Sundays (Being at two churches 3 Sundays out of 5), and it all began yesterday. I suspect that sentence would be enough to make your head spin trying to get your head around it, and I'm kind of doing that myself as I settle into my new position. I really loved meeting the people at the first church yesterday, and they seemed delighted to have me there - I even clicked decently with the teenagers there! And... I'm not going to be at their services again until the first Sunday in October. In the meantime, I'm going to go through the same experience at the other churches.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this site already. My supervisor and I are on the same page theologically, ecclesiologically, in our view of the ministry, and we're both pretty easy going. He's someone I'm confident I'll be able to get along with famously for the next year. The other pastors I work with regularly are pretty fun too, and I can see myself learning boatloads being side by side with them all rather than being with just one pastor. Besides, with so many pastor-intern relationships going sour due to any number of reasons, having multiple pastors to work with can only be a good thing!
I'm going to need to be growing into wearing my clerical collar shirts. They feel alien on me, and the kinds of glances I get from people on sidewalks makes me uncomfortable - what're they thinking? Maybe... "I didn't know I lived next to a PASTOR!" I'm pretty unpretensious as a pastor and am not interested in lording my status over others. If I'm pretensious about anything, it'd probably be a matter of intelligence rather than office (much as I'd rather not be pretensious about anything). I wear the collar mostly because I want to be taken seriously as a pastor from day 1, and the symbol of that collar goes a long distance to accomplishing this. However, it'll be coming off as soon as I'm done with the formal pastoral functions. I'm trying not to think about how weird it'll be to wear it around friends and family for now...
Anyways, today is Labor Day, so I'm now off to being done with all things work!
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this site already. My supervisor and I are on the same page theologically, ecclesiologically, in our view of the ministry, and we're both pretty easy going. He's someone I'm confident I'll be able to get along with famously for the next year. The other pastors I work with regularly are pretty fun too, and I can see myself learning boatloads being side by side with them all rather than being with just one pastor. Besides, with so many pastor-intern relationships going sour due to any number of reasons, having multiple pastors to work with can only be a good thing!
I'm going to need to be growing into wearing my clerical collar shirts. They feel alien on me, and the kinds of glances I get from people on sidewalks makes me uncomfortable - what're they thinking? Maybe... "I didn't know I lived next to a PASTOR!" I'm pretty unpretensious as a pastor and am not interested in lording my status over others. If I'm pretensious about anything, it'd probably be a matter of intelligence rather than office (much as I'd rather not be pretensious about anything). I wear the collar mostly because I want to be taken seriously as a pastor from day 1, and the symbol of that collar goes a long distance to accomplishing this. However, it'll be coming off as soon as I'm done with the formal pastoral functions. I'm trying not to think about how weird it'll be to wear it around friends and family for now...
Anyways, today is Labor Day, so I'm now off to being done with all things work!
Friday, April 25, 2008
All good things...
It was kind of funny, really. It's funny how just a few words can change the direction of your existence. "Will you marry me?" is one common one that changes the lives - but rest assured, I have not been propositioned by anyone! My new direction came from a very different set of words though - "Resurrection Lutheran Church, St. Joseph, MN".
Suddenly, my mind had left seminary behind, skipped past the whole of the summer, and even left Trinity and my youth group in a split second, and I tried to get my mind around the challenges sure to come at my upcoming internship placement. For context, I'm to be spending ~15 hours per week working with the college students of St. Benedict's and St. John's. Sermon ideas, opportunities to meet the people I would be pastor for, how I would try to connect with them, how I would try to continue the work of the previous interns... my mind whirled with possibilities, and excitement.
It is interesting what one can learn about oneself in a split second. I've always been a bit of a nervous wreck when taking on any big challenge, especially pastoral challenges. Preaching, CPE, leading Bible studies, and praying with people has taught me this about myself. In a way this is a good thing - one who is not intimidated when handling the things of God has not comprehended what it is they are doing. In ways, I'm still that nervous person. However, in that split second, I learned something new about myself - I was excited by taking on a new and challenging ministry, which I've never tried before. And as I reflected on that reaction, I realized something: I am a changed man; I'm beginning to come into my own as a pastor. Seminary has done it's job. I'm not truly a pastor yet. But I can now see that I'm nearer to there then I realized before today.
I'm still a seminary student and I am still a youth pastor, and, if anything, I am working harder at both of these two roles in my life than I have to date - I'm more present in those parts of my life than I've been for months. However, the end for these is coming - this is set in stone now. The good things I have enjoyed to date are almost behind me. A new country is on my horizon. And I am excited by the possibilities. So I say: "Bring it on."
Suddenly, my mind had left seminary behind, skipped past the whole of the summer, and even left Trinity and my youth group in a split second, and I tried to get my mind around the challenges sure to come at my upcoming internship placement. For context, I'm to be spending ~15 hours per week working with the college students of St. Benedict's and St. John's. Sermon ideas, opportunities to meet the people I would be pastor for, how I would try to connect with them, how I would try to continue the work of the previous interns... my mind whirled with possibilities, and excitement.
It is interesting what one can learn about oneself in a split second. I've always been a bit of a nervous wreck when taking on any big challenge, especially pastoral challenges. Preaching, CPE, leading Bible studies, and praying with people has taught me this about myself. In a way this is a good thing - one who is not intimidated when handling the things of God has not comprehended what it is they are doing. In ways, I'm still that nervous person. However, in that split second, I learned something new about myself - I was excited by taking on a new and challenging ministry, which I've never tried before. And as I reflected on that reaction, I realized something: I am a changed man; I'm beginning to come into my own as a pastor. Seminary has done it's job. I'm not truly a pastor yet. But I can now see that I'm nearer to there then I realized before today.
I'm still a seminary student and I am still a youth pastor, and, if anything, I am working harder at both of these two roles in my life than I have to date - I'm more present in those parts of my life than I've been for months. However, the end for these is coming - this is set in stone now. The good things I have enjoyed to date are almost behind me. A new country is on my horizon. And I am excited by the possibilities. So I say: "Bring it on."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)